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Episode *whatever*, Revenge of the Smith Copyright 2005 by Rod Harden All rights reserved |
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"Yoga, are you coming or not?" Petme Ahmadollie called up the stairway,
tapping her foot impatiently.
In their upstairs bedroom, the diminutive green figure stopped rummaging through the dresser drawer just long enough to shout back, "My bowtie I can find not!" "Forget the tie! It's really not that formal." Though fuming at the thought of being more than fashionably late, she couldn't help checking her image once more in the mirror. She frowned at her reflection. She was on her fifth hairstyle that day and was still not satisfied with what she saw. Perhaps she should have stuck with the Finger-in-the-Socket look. At last Yoga ambled down the steps. "You're wearing that?" cried Petme. "Wrong with this what is?" After a brief pause to parse her pint-sized lover's syntax, she said, "It's the same thing you always wear, that's what." "So a problem there is not, hmmm?" "Whatever." "Of your outfit I approve." His lips curled into a lecherous grin as his eyes traced her long shapely legs from the tips of her open-toed heels to the hem of her red micro-skirt. "This old thing? You're sweet." She patted his wrinkled head, as his face took on a look of serious concentration. Gradually, her hemline began creeping up even further. Noticing it immediately, she yanked it down. "Now, cut that out!" she scolded him. "How many time have I told you not to use your Red-Eye Knight mumbo-jumbo on my skirts?!" "Lost track I have, hmmm," he smiled. "You're incorrigible!" she laughed. He took her hand then and together they headed for the space garage. Behind the controls of the space cruiser, Petme took a left at the corner. Yoga frowned and waved his hand at her. "This route you want not," he said suggestively. "This is not the route I want," she responded in a stiff monotone. "The fifth level beltway quicker is." "The fifth level beltway is quicker." Her eyes wide and unblinking, she veered off toward the beltway entrance. As she merged into the traffic, she suddenly roused herself. "How did we get on the beltway? I hate driving the beltway!" Yoga shrugged. "A quicker route it is, you said." "Yeah, sure. You'll pay for this later, buster." "Wait I hardly can." "Huh?" From the corner of his mouth, he hissed, "I said I can hardly wait!" "Oh, right!" For the millionth time, she wondered why he bothered with his tortured syntax when he was perfectly capable of speaking normally. Star Snores:
By the time they arrived at the party, she'd had to push his hand off her
thigh at least a dozen times. "I need to concentrate in all this traffic!"
But Red-Eye Knights were nothing if not tenacious.
After parking the space cruiser, Petme rang the bell. Her friend, Laida
Orgasma, opened the door, beaming. "Petme! You made it. Come on in. You
look great! But," she added under her breath, "what's with the hair?"
"Don't ask," said Petme, grimacing.
"And Yoga!" gushed Laida, glancing downward. "You look like a million
bucks... All green and wrinkly." She giggled delightedly.
Yoga rolled his eyes. "Heard THAT one before I never have."
"Sweetie," said Petme, "be a dear and get me a drink. I want to catch up
with Laida."
"The usual?"
"Yes, please. And, Yoga," she added with a cautioning look, "try to
behave!"
"There is no 'try'; behave or behave not-"
"Fine! Whatever! Just don't make me have to come and get you."
After a few minutes talking, Petme began to wonder what was taking Yoga so
long. Scanning the crowd, she saw the top of his green head lingering near
one of the other women. Storming over to him, she smacked him on the ear.
"Yoga!" she said in a shouted whisper. "Are you looking up Julie Smith's
skirt again?"
"Ow!" he whined, rubbing his ear. "Help it I cannot! Black lacy panties
she wears. Hmmm, a disturbance in my pants I sense, hmmm!"
"There better not be any disturbance there. Keep that thing under
control!"
"But, Petme, my love-"
"Don't try to sweet talk me!"
"Oh, all right. Here your drink is," he said smiling innocently.
"Thanks. I'm going to talk to Laida some more. Why don't you find
Mannequin Skystalker, or one of your other Red-Eye buddies?"
"Yes. A good idea that is, hmmm."
Petme worked her way back to her friend.
"What do you see in him, anyway?" asked Laida as soon as she was in
earshot.
The striking brunette shrugged. "Oh, he has his good points. Trust me."
"Well, as long as you're happy, I guess."
"The one I'm worried about is that Julie Smith. I just know she's trying
to seduce him away from me, to get back at me for voting against her Senate resolution. She has no clue what she'd be getting herself into."
"Yawn! Politics bores me, dear. Talk about something else."
Just then a commotion arose. The two women spun around and stared across
the room. In the midst of a circle of onlookers was Yoga. The tiny Red-Eye
Knight was spinning and leaping like a rabid Ewok. His pulsing shaft of
energy sliced through the air knocking over lamps and reducing furniture
to splinters.
"Oh dear," said Petme, covering her eyes with her hand and shaking her
head. "I was afraid of this."
Alarmed, Laida shouted, "Petme! He's destroying my house! I thought you
said he was going to leave his light saber at home!"
"That," said Petme deliberately, "is NOT his light saber..."
Star Snores: |